will power is for people who don't want to get laid
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
Randomize
