My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
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