FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
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