Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
Randomize
