I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize
