I only kidnapped one of them. chill
You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize