Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
I bought two pregnancy tests and a cosmopolitan magazine at 4am... I told the cashier "dont judge me, ur not God"
Randomize
