So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
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