I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
