Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
Randomize
