and you said cock pushups were impossible
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
Randomize
