Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize
