omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
Randomize
