So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize
