nut hugger
East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
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