i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
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