I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
