she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
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