Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
Randomize
