He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
Randomize