idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
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