I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
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