Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
Two words: blizzard sex
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
Randomize
