you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
Randomize
