I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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