everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
Just want the two of you to know, I went to a golf tournament today. Respectable, expensive… Flipped the golf cart. Seriously, I'm 40. What the fuck?
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
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