By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
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