I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
Swiping left on your brother's Tinder account is possibly the worst way to learn he broke up with his girlfriend.
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
Randomize
