Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
I stole a fireplace last night.
Having to grow a landing strip to cover the bruises from pole dancing. Thanks for the birthday present, but next time, maybe just a gift card?
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
I'd cum for enchiladas.
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
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