The walls in my apartment are so thin that sometimes when I fart, I stop to listen if people are laughing next door.
apparently the secret to your success is patron
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
Just got off the phone with poison control. They're more concerned about our alcohol intake than that the beer bong was last cleaned with pine sol.
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
Randomize
