I swear god or herbie drove my car home
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
Randomize