Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
Randomize
