party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
Impromptu road trip to New Orleans for four days of Mardi Gras. I'll probably be alive and back for Valentine's Day plans, probably won't stick my dick in some random either-might be using my free pass you cheating asshat. Love you. Expect random texts & probably a drunk dial or twelve. You did this to yourself. You're not invited so don't bother. Have fun at work.
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
Crop dusting thru forever 21
Randomize