I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize
