Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
He texted me at 3am that you cut your hand at the bar and were bleeding all over.
I woke up to a text thinking you bled out at a bar, turns out you got your butthole licked.
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
I’m 37 with a career and a home and yesterday my niece set up Snapchat so I can sext with my 22 year old boyfriend/fuck buddy. Yes. Yes I’d say I need help?
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