I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
I distinctly remember calling the anesthesiologist a "sneaky little bastard" directly to his face
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
Randomize
