Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
Randomize