What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
Randomize