Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
He chugged from a bottle of wine and then we had pretend sex
How do you have pretend sex?
It was bad...so it was pretend
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
Maybe he injected his testicle?
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
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