You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
Randomize
