what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
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