I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
Randomize