Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
In America we eat man semen.
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
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