just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
Randomize
