I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
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