What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
Walked in the bathroom at work and my boss was taking a shit with the stall wide open and responded "oh yeah, I forgot you never have been to prison "
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
Randomize
