Mr. Last Night just informed me I told him to be very quiet when he left this morning and high-fived him as a goodnight kiss. Drunk me is slutty and manly.
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
Volunteering at a homeless shelter a bum asked if he could lick me cause I still reeked of whiskey. Being a bumsickle=epic hangover
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
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