i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
I'm doing a half mile walk of shame carrying a trash bag and still very drunk. Save me. I feel like a refugee.
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize