Pants 0. Shit 1.
i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
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