Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
I'm currently watching porn and playing beer pong with wine in the lobby of a hotel with a squadron of hot airforce guys. You can never say your life is better than mine again
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
Randomize
