Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
Randomize
