So is it bad that I'm using this 21 year old for his hot bod and utter naivety?
No its what 21 year olds are made for
first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
I let my cat eat the pepperonis off of my pizza while I was still eating it. That's the level of tequila drunk I got last night.
God I adore you.
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
Randomize
