Duck Duck Cougar?
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
Randomize
