So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
I am such a fucking liability at weddings. I ended up making out with this married 40-year-old that told me that basically if I came home with him and be a sex partner for him and his wife, I would never have to pay for anything again. Extremely considered it.
Randomize
