I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
Randomize