Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
Randomize
