Just fell off a train. Bad.
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
I woke up with dick mouth, a raw vagina, an empty bottle of vodka and the best man next to me. I also found my thong by the pool. Best.Wedding.Ever.
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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