who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
Randomize
