He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
Hey I consider Sunday's trip to the ER a success. You're alive and now you know for sure you're not pregnant. I got my highest ever Tetris score. Wins all around.
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
Randomize
